Praise Jeebus, I have internet. My eyes and fingertips were near death following a few weeks of ferocious iPhone-ing. As of today I had used 90% of my monthly data allowance (with two weeks to go), mostly Facetiming Husband, who is in Fakistan, aka Indianastan, aka Fake Afghanistan. Hashtag FirstWorldProblems HashtagOhMyGodThisIsntTwitterStopHashtagging.
We bought a house. I signed a lot of documents, twice. They didn't like my finely-honed squiggle of a signature, so I had to write out my full name, and Husband's Full Name by My Full Name as Attorney-in-Fact, about a million times. Still easier than getting my TSP password. HashtagFedProblems HashtagStopIt.
Observations about Denver: WHERE HAVE ALL THE CYNICS GONE. East Coasters please come visit. Also: seriously, they talk about the powder on the radio. The local weather has a segment just for skiing conditions. I'm fairly certain a genuine Mountain Man was driving the luggage truck when we arrived at the airport. Pony sightings: zero, but I still have high hopes. Unlike Mumbai, there are no cattle in the street, but there are cattle in every other advertisement. These people love their beer.
Observations about being a homeowner: Window coverings are hugely expensive and you'll have never seen the price tag coming. Your happiest day will not be closing, but the day internet is installed. Buying a loft bed for your son to preserve usable space in his small room is smart. Adding a slide (yes, really) to it negates the space savings. Don't worry, he can slide into the closet (yes, really). Even if you are just putting up a swatch of paint to test the color, put tape on your moulding.
Observations about the SAHM transition: I almost can't think about my career right now. It's like a break up with someone you love intensely, but you know you can't make it work. Put the blinders on and move forward, lest you become overwhelmed with self-doubt. I'll tackle the Having It All and Doing It All and Being It All or Being Half of Something another day.
Observations about The Children: They both speak with Estonglish grammar, meaning slightly Yoda-like. I thought Girl couldn't count, but turns out she just can't count in English (well, she can, but she starts with five and can only get to eight). She'll easily do an üks, kaks, kolm, neli, viis, kuus, seitse, kümme. Yes, Estonian speakers, she does all that in a perfect Estonian accent, but she still skips eight and nine because they make no freaking sense. Even Girl knows this.
Observations about the Menagerie: Out of the clink and pretty well adjusted. The cats are troopers and expert travelers, and the dog is just too dog-like to get overworked about being in a new place.
As I tackle the main project here, which is Boy, I'll share some of the highs and lows and what works and what doesn't, but I'm trying to do so in a way that protects his privacy. I hope against hope that someday the outbursts and pugilism and mood swings will be unrecognizable behaviors, but I don't want him to stumble across this a few years down the road and think for half a second that I only focused on what's wrong. There's a lot right with him, and I will share that too. That is a narrow and difficult line to walk, but with time I will figure it out.
Onward.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
The Transitive Vampire
I am coming up for air.
We made it to Colorado. In the Ledger of Good and Bad--as if it worked that way--it's a wash so far. Husband and I attempted to go out one last time on his final night in town, but between placing our order and the arrival of our margaritas, we got a call that Girl had woken up with a very high fever. Alas. Boy mostly recovered, but woke from a nap screaming with ear pain yesterday afternoon. I suppose congestion plus long flights resulted in too much trapped fluid and a proper ear infection.
On the plus side, fingers crossed we'll close on our house on Wednesday, two weeks early. This is great for many reasons, not least of which is our poor menagerie is languishing in a pet resort (I kid you not, that's what it's called). The kids and I visited yesterday, and young Dali was out of her mind with excitement. Incidentally, I put in an email to a dog trainer who does house calls. Best get started on that soonest.
Ho hum ho hum. Sick kids. Moving.
I'm forgetting something.
Oh yes! The utter fear! That's right. Minor detail, but I'm terrified. Today, as Boy yelled for the millionth time that he hates me more than anyone and tacked on the horrible claim that he hates himself too, I realized how long this road is going to be. I miss Husband, and it's only been a week. We've been married six years, and apart for over two of those. The past two and a half years is the longest continuous time we have lived in the same country and it was nice. I didn't only have my co-parent, I had my friend. A lunch buddy. Someone to watch TV with in the evening. Someone to share a bottle of wine and fret about the state of American politics. While of course we each traveled a fair bit in the past few years, it was never more than a couple weeks at a shot. Now I'm measuring out spoonfuls of time, one day on top of the next.
Boy told me he loves his dad best of all, which I knew. He apologized for yelling at me in Ikea, and matter-of-factly explained that he only did that because he doesn't like me very much. I don't really take this to heart--if you can't blame your mom for everything, who can you blame? It does wear on me a bit, though. In his more charming moments, he confesses that even when he says he hates me, he still loves me. I know that too. He explained that when he becomes a vampire bat--not if, when--he will not suck his family's blood, but rather will only suck the blood of other people's families.
If that's not love, I don't know what is.
We made it to Colorado. In the Ledger of Good and Bad--as if it worked that way--it's a wash so far. Husband and I attempted to go out one last time on his final night in town, but between placing our order and the arrival of our margaritas, we got a call that Girl had woken up with a very high fever. Alas. Boy mostly recovered, but woke from a nap screaming with ear pain yesterday afternoon. I suppose congestion plus long flights resulted in too much trapped fluid and a proper ear infection.
On the plus side, fingers crossed we'll close on our house on Wednesday, two weeks early. This is great for many reasons, not least of which is our poor menagerie is languishing in a pet resort (I kid you not, that's what it's called). The kids and I visited yesterday, and young Dali was out of her mind with excitement. Incidentally, I put in an email to a dog trainer who does house calls. Best get started on that soonest.
Ho hum ho hum. Sick kids. Moving.
I'm forgetting something.
Oh yes! The utter fear! That's right. Minor detail, but I'm terrified. Today, as Boy yelled for the millionth time that he hates me more than anyone and tacked on the horrible claim that he hates himself too, I realized how long this road is going to be. I miss Husband, and it's only been a week. We've been married six years, and apart for over two of those. The past two and a half years is the longest continuous time we have lived in the same country and it was nice. I didn't only have my co-parent, I had my friend. A lunch buddy. Someone to watch TV with in the evening. Someone to share a bottle of wine and fret about the state of American politics. While of course we each traveled a fair bit in the past few years, it was never more than a couple weeks at a shot. Now I'm measuring out spoonfuls of time, one day on top of the next.
Boy told me he loves his dad best of all, which I knew. He apologized for yelling at me in Ikea, and matter-of-factly explained that he only did that because he doesn't like me very much. I don't really take this to heart--if you can't blame your mom for everything, who can you blame? It does wear on me a bit, though. In his more charming moments, he confesses that even when he says he hates me, he still loves me. I know that too. He explained that when he becomes a vampire bat--not if, when--he will not suck his family's blood, but rather will only suck the blood of other people's families.
If that's not love, I don't know what is.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Time Management
We packed out last week. Husband and Boy were to take the dog to Colorado on Tuesday, and Girl and I were to follow with the cats on Wednesday. That didn't happen. OF COURSE.
I didn't have orders until early evening, Tuesday. OF COURSE. Too late to ship my car or confirm the ticket.
But more than that, Boy was in the hospital overnight on Tuesday. OF COURSE. Because that is how we do.
I could have sworn he had the flu, as he was the only one of us without the vaccine and had a crazy high fever (105.4 degrees, FTW). He didn't, but there is a virus circulating that mimics the flu in almost every way except there is no vaccine. At any rate, no more fever, but we do have a surly preschooler with a persistent cough. This might be warping into bronchitis, which means the next few weeks will be fun.
Husband and Girl and Dog left this morning and should be landing in Atlanta soon. Girl is healthy and was so excited to travel that she had an outright fit before bedtime last night. Somehow she was convinced that we were supposed to go to America right. then. and that Husband would leave without her. She was crying and kicking, screaming I wanna go Amurica! because it's just cuter that way. I finally persuaded her that the pilot wouldn't let her on if she didn't sleep. I then persuaded her that I couldn't stay in bed with her because I had to clean the kitchen. Total lie, of course. I had to split a bottle of wine with Husband and eat some cheese.
Boy and I leave tomorrow. In the meantime, he is asleep, as he has been for most of the day, and I amcleaning out all the glurge and leftover stuff from our house blogging.
I'd feel sad and liberated, stepping onto a whole new (temporary) trajectory toward stay-at-home-parenting, unencumbered by responsibilities at work. I still haven't finished my EER, though, so mostly I feel irritated and sad. Liberated will have to wait, if it ever comes.
I didn't have orders until early evening, Tuesday. OF COURSE. Too late to ship my car or confirm the ticket.
But more than that, Boy was in the hospital overnight on Tuesday. OF COURSE. Because that is how we do.
I could have sworn he had the flu, as he was the only one of us without the vaccine and had a crazy high fever (105.4 degrees, FTW). He didn't, but there is a virus circulating that mimics the flu in almost every way except there is no vaccine. At any rate, no more fever, but we do have a surly preschooler with a persistent cough. This might be warping into bronchitis, which means the next few weeks will be fun.
Husband and Girl and Dog left this morning and should be landing in Atlanta soon. Girl is healthy and was so excited to travel that she had an outright fit before bedtime last night. Somehow she was convinced that we were supposed to go to America right. then. and that Husband would leave without her. She was crying and kicking, screaming I wanna go Amurica! because it's just cuter that way. I finally persuaded her that the pilot wouldn't let her on if she didn't sleep. I then persuaded her that I couldn't stay in bed with her because I had to clean the kitchen. Total lie, of course. I had to split a bottle of wine with Husband and eat some cheese.
Boy and I leave tomorrow. In the meantime, he is asleep, as he has been for most of the day, and I am
I'd feel sad and liberated, stepping onto a whole new (temporary) trajectory toward stay-at-home-parenting, unencumbered by responsibilities at work. I still haven't finished my EER, though, so mostly I feel irritated and sad. Liberated will have to wait, if it ever comes.
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