Tuesday, March 19, 2013


Scene: A somewhat smelly unshowered post-gym mom drives her oft-complaining children to Whole Foods to spend too much on a bottle of water and some dinner following their errand. In the backseat, two children: one in a fleece polka dot hoodie, face filled with elephant limbs; the other pensive, fingers in mouth.

Boy (extra politely): Excuse me, Mom. Do zombies have skeletons?

Mom: Yeah, because they are people that were bitten by zombies, died, and then became zombies themselves. People have skeletons, so zombies have skeletons.

Boy (somewhat exasperated): Yeah, I know that. I mean, the first zombie. Did he have a skeleton? The first zombie wasn't bitten by another zombie.

Mom: Well, I think the first zombie got a virus, died, and then became a zombie and ate brains. So, that person would have a skeleton too. (As a panicked afterthought) But don't worry, that's just a make-believe virus, not like ones you and I get.

Boy: Okay, so the first zombie had a skeleton. Thanks.

I hope he won't be disappointed if they don't cover Zombie Anatomy in school. And I hope his school won't be disappointed if he wants them to.

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