Thursday, May 19, 2011

Malicious Pooping


I love my children. I cherish bedtime for the snuggliness, the kisses, the story time, and, in Girl's case, the delicious feeling of a soft, round chunk falling heavily to sleep on your shoulder.

That said, parents who allege they wouldn't be happier if they were sleeping more are probably lying. Even the most attached of attachment parenting proponents has felt the tear-inducing frustration of a child who just will. not. sleep. I feel fortunate that, with rare exception, my kids are both asleep by 8:00 every night, which allows me a couple hours of completely unproductive and precious Mom Time.

That said, Boy is rounding the bend to three years old, and spends most afternoons fighting his nap. Because we've removed rockets from his room (he puts them "to bed" outside the baby gate), he's had to resort to other distractions. The latest is strategically timed poop. I'll give someone a kidney if that child isn't holding it in until/prematurely forcing it out two minutes after Nanny/Mom/Dad leave the room, making us come back to change the disaster that his diaper. If a diaper change isn't exciting, nothing is. With the right amount of squirming, giggling and kicking, it can take a number of minutes--just enough time to get the sillies and blow any possibility of a reasonably-timed nap.

Today, while he was actually going to the potty (!), I was commenting to Nanny that I believed his nap-pooping was malicious. Boy was apparently listening. His new word? "Malicious."

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